Note that the Court struck down Section 3 of DOMA, the part dealing with federal recognition and benefits. It did not change the section 2 provision that states don't have to recognize (under normal Full Faith and Credit) other states' same-sex marriages. That had actually corresponded to "section 1" of my proposed "Amendment 29"; it was section 2 in my text that had referred to federal benefits.
In the mid 1990s, there was still a prevailing sentiment that a "man" (even a gay man) shouldn't depend on others for benefits or support, so the marriage issue didn't seem as critical to a lot of us. Gay parenting was increasing but that wasn't widely known. Instead, there was a sense that priorities should still be on freedom to live as you want without obvious discrimination, in employment, housing, or even the military. But that sense was changing. I would have expected the military ban or DADT to be reversed and ENDA to pass before marriage rights were won, but the whole idea that marriage by definition demands a subsidy from others became more apparent. I also think it is an anomaly today that we have made all these stunning legal advances and yet school systems still tolerate anti-gay bullying.